You get on well with your friends and enjoy each other’s company. You discover that you both want to visit the same destination, but is travelling with friends a good idea?
We have travelled with friends for short getaways and longer trips. Based on our experience, here are some factors we think you should consider when making the decision about whether travelling with friends is right for you.
1. COMMUNICATION IS KEY
It sounds obvious, but discussing all goals and preferences is critical when travelling with friends. You might want to visit the same destination, but there are so many other questions to consider to ensure you are on the same page:
BUDGET
What’s the budget for this trip? It will likely impact every other factor below. Are your travel budgets similar?
LENGTH OF TRIP
When is the best time to visit the destination? Consider weather, events, crowds, access and seasonal celebrations. Think about how timing can impact cost. Will this work for everyone?
When do you want to travel? For example, are you hoping to see snow and travel in winter? Do you want to attend a particular event, festival or show? Will this work for everyone?
How long can you take off work? Which work or life events can’t you miss? Will these align with your friends' commitments?
Are you hoping to travel during school holidays, and if so, do your children have the same holidays as your friends’ children?
If you’re going to more than one place, how long do you want at each destination? Do you all have similar ideas about this?
ACCOMMODATION
Are you hoping to stay in chain hotels, boutique hotels, AirBnBs or even hostels? Are you camping, or staying in a motorhome/caravan/RV?
Are you planning to stay together, or apart?
Do you need parking, breakfast or any particular amenities, such as access to a swimming pool or a laundry? Does everyone have these same needs?
TRANSPORTATION
Will you be flying, driving or taking another form of transport?
If you’re flying, is anyone hoping to use a particular airline as part of a rewards program?
If you’re flying, can everyone’s luggage needs be met?
If you’re driving, are you taking your own vehicles, hiring separate vehicles, or planning to share transport?
Can rideshare options work for everyone in the group, or will this be harder for some, such as those with very young children or larger families?
Will you be relying on public transport? If so, will this work for everyone in the group?
FOOD
Are you going to have all meals out, or will you be cooking?
If you’re cooking, will each family cook for themselves, or will they be catering for the whole group? If the whole group, who cooks when, and who pays?
Will you be eating together for every meal, most meals or just the odd meal?
Does anyone have special dietary needs which may impact the above considerations?
ACTIVITIES & PACE
Will you be doing pre-booked activities every day, or taking a more relaxed pace? Does everyone agree on this?
Will you be doing all things together, most things together or only a few things together?
Are there particular activities or sights that are on your bucket list or theirs?
Having clear expectations and communication from the beginning will avoid awkward or difficult conversations once the trip is underway.
Even with careful planning, travel is tiring, and it can be expensive. These two pressures can create a lot of stress, which is only made worse by the added pressure of trying to be polite or trying to avoid ‘letting your friends down’. Make time for detailed planning before you travel together to avoid surprises once the trip is underway.
2. COMPROMISE IS CRITICAL
Even if you travel with your closest friends, your travel style will be cramped in some ways when you travel with others – as will theirs. It’s just because there’s more give and take involved. There are many positives – dinner conversations, kids to entertain each other, extra hands to help with set up or pack up and lifelong memories to share, to name just a few. These will often make up for the things you will be sacrificing in order to travel with friends.
It’s just a reality that you’ll have less flexibility because you’ll need to check plans with the group. If someone gets sick, it can have an impact on everyone. You’ll have less privacy, which can mean less opportunities to vent if needed. (As noted above, travel can be stressful at times!) Your children’s schedules may need to adjust to accommodate others and you may find yourself being more relaxed about certain aspects of parenting in order to maintain group cohesion (obviously not around safety issues though). Not everyone will be able to travel at the same pace, and therefore the whole group will often need to move at the slowest pace so everyone can be involved. This may mean stopping regularly for young children to use the bathroom, for example. If your group covers a range of ages, it is really important to consider how everyone’s needs will be met and to discuss how this will impact the trip.
You’ll need to weigh up the benefits of travelling with friends against the compromises that will be made to work out whether it’s a good idea for you. Remember, it is okay to explore the idea, but to ultimately conclude that you’d both have more fun travelling separately! Better to discover this during planning than during a trip!
3. TEST THE WATERS
Our family has never really seriously considered travelling around Australia in a caravan, but I can tell you that if we did, we would definitely try a few shorter trips first to make sure we enjoyed it. The same principle applies to travelling with friends.
Do some day trips and see how your group decision-making works. Is everyone sharing the load? Do you feel like you can parent the way you want to? Do you leave with happy memories and the desire to spend more time with those friends? If so, that’s a great indication that you’ll enjoy a longer trip together. If you’re thinking of a longer trip, try a weekend getaway first. These shorter trials give everyone the chance to assess things before big time and budget commitments are made.
4. PRIORITISE THE FRIENDSHIP
Once you are travelling with your friends, it’s inevitable that some challenges will arise. While of course you want to enjoy the trip, get value for money, and experience the things you had planned, it’s important to remember that the trip is temporary, while friendships can last a lifetime. Therefore, when challenges arise, our advice is to prioritise the friendship. Will you regret not eating at that restaurant you’d always wanted to try? Perhaps. (See point 1 above about clear expectations before you travel – hopefully something like this will be discussed in your planning.) However, will you regret it more if you create tension in a friendship which continues to have a ripple effect once you return home? Almost definitely.
5. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE ALL OR NOTHING
Perhaps you’ve worked through the steps mentioned above. You do want to travel to the same destination as your friends, but your styles of travel are very different and you can see the potential for too much compromise or regret if you take the whole trip together. You may still be able to share some experiences. Perhaps you can spend a day together sharing an activity, or meet for a meal or a show. For example, when we travelled to Los Angeles, we had friends in the city at the same time. Our travel priorities were very different, so we met up for just one day, which included some shopping and our daughter’s birthday lunch. It was actually a great compromise, because while we were there, we were able to share tips with each other from activities we’d done separately, and now we can both look back on the birthday meal as a shared memory as well.
Having the approach described above has allowed us to be sensitive to our friends when we are planning activities, giving them the opportunity to opt out of activities and making sure we are all able to take breaks as needed.
With great communication, careful planning and compromise when needed, we think travelling with friends can really enhance a travel experience and create wonderful, lasting memories!
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